


Was Perfect

by Mochipup



Category: Yoonseok - Fandom, bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Chaptered, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fanfiction, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Harm, Jealousy, Love, M/M, Romance, Sexuality, Sides, Slow yet fast, Smut, Sope, bts - Freeform, friendships, self - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-03-26 12:29:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19005823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mochipup/pseuds/Mochipup
Summary: His back slams against the wall behind. Leaning up on tiptoes eyes following his he whispers "You don't scare me, Hope" Yoongi snarls, pushing his body away from his. Only to be closer than before shudders ran through his body as their hips collided "You should be..." He whispers running his nose along the crook of his neck.Yoongi always thought he was straight until Hoseok makes him question his sexuality.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer this chapter contains self-harm!!!!!

Perfect.

It was a word he despised mostly because of everyone around him thought he was perfect the perfect student and the perfect son that they had raised. How little his mum was wrong he hated the world with a passion.

He feels small as he pushes passed people in the overcrowded corridor. Passing the same faces every day, the same people who smile his way thinking he was perfect it exhausted him pulling the straps of his bag tighter together.

He was a white canvas Jimin once told him over iced coffee from the awful run-down cafeteria their school held open for students.  

He was painted white as nothing but good things come his way, as the boy with good grades an optimistic family cheering him on as he passes paper after paper, surrounded with a good group of friends and has the most gorgeous girlfriend.

He had rolled his eyes at Jimin's foolishness.

Nari his girlfriend the one and only good thing that had happened in his life. 

Everyone thought their love was cute but now he found it annoying maybe it was because he has grown a lot in the past year that's what he keeps wanting to think.

His friends think that there the perfect couple and they want a relationship like his but underneath the white lies, there wasn't a relationship anymore.

All they did was argue once they were alone sometimes it got to a point where Nari took things way out of hand that attracted people's attention as they watched on.

Until one of them, caves in and apologises to the other for making a scene and everything turns back to normal.

Behind the perfect boy, he and others always seem to think he is, Yoongi felt like he was falling.

Falling into nothing. He felt alone he didn't have anybody that would understand he had sleepless night.

It became a recurring thing where he couldn't sleep he'd dig the palm of his hands into his eyes wishing the tears away screaming 'help' in his head hoping someone would hear his screams.

But no one noticed his mother told him to get some rest he's working too hard studying for his finals.

If she took notice of the dark bags underneath his eyes she didn't question it he realised she has gotten used to his sullen face just like he has.

His head hangs low on his shoulder as he splashes water against his temple breathing in and out before opening his eyes.

What he see's he doesn't recognise anymore. It's hard to believe that Yoongi's looking at himself sometimes.

Yoongi knew soon enough he would fall apart in front of someone just for them to finally open their eyes and see he's struggling.

He wished he would in some sense that'd make his life easier to show his mum he's not the perfect little boy she has raised.

He blames her so much he feels guilty for feeling that way it isn't her fault that he's feeling the way he is.

Maybe she puts so much pressure on him because she doesn't want Yoongi to turn out as his brother did.

But he isn't perfect all the time and she knows this when his test paper come back and he misses the mark by 1% she doesn't agree on.

They argue until his mother can't stand the sight of him before storming out leaving him with a sore throat.

His home life is terrible.

He didn't just blame his mum he also blamed the people around him.

He hates feeling the way he is but he knows the truth deep down there's no denying it there's something going on between his girlfriend and Jimin.

It hurts him in so many ways that his best friend could do that to him it makes his stomach churn at the sight of them laughing together.

Hoping for the pain to stop in his chest to go away. 

Or all the emotions bottled up inside of him from his injury that had happened months prior he had broken the bones in his hand. 

The one thing he enjoyed was ripped away from him was art. He adored drawing it takes his mind off things it was a getaway.

Letting the led move on its own creating beautiful landscapes before his eyes. Spending hours shading not realising how time goes by so quickly.

He didn't have a choice he had to give it up to his mum simply told him there are better things in your future.

Her words hurt. He felt a lot of things anger, sadness, the frustration he felt alone.

He had gotten used to feeling this way it was depressing he wipes his cheeks after realising a tear slid down his face.

Yoongi just wanted to feel something anything happiness if only just for a second he just wanted to feel once again.

He wanted something to jolt him back into himself back into reality feeling out of his body like he took a step back and is watching somebody that isn't him.

His eyes clench shut at the thoughts driving his mind wild wishing he could shut them off.

But that's something he can't control.

He wanted the numbness to go away. Picking up the blade that he had become so used to, the one thing that made him feel real, feel pain was the blade leaving a stinging sensation behind his bloody skin.

It was a disgusting habit he knew he shouldn't do he hates doing it but it's like he couldn't control it.

Dabbing the towel against his leg he sits against his bathroom sink counter ignoring his mother's calls.

Letting the tears fall down his pale cheeks recalling there earlier argument downstairs.

 

45 minutes earlier 

 

"I don't want you ending up like your brother, Yoongi!" Yejun yells walking through the living room to the kitchen her sons occupying.

Coming to a stop beside him.

"I won't end up like him" Yoongi mutters biting into his apple.

She has a stern look on her face throwing his latest test onto the countertop he failed 2 answers.

"You need to study more I can't have you ending up like...." Standing to leave, Yejun pulls him back.

"You need to stop mum he's gone okay get over it I'm trying my hardest" He snaps.

 "I know I'm sorry" Yejun sighs dropping her hands down to her sides.

Yoongi rolls his eyes "I'm doing my best, goodnight mum"

He presses a light kiss to her forehead before leaving.

 

Taking a deep breath the stinging subsiding he slides off his bathroom counter, his feet meeting his heated flooring.

That Yejun demanded they have as it was freezing in the winter. She spent more care on her home that she did her own sons.

Standing on his own two feet towel wrapped around his waist he dries off before heading to bed.

PING

Yoongi groans reaching over for his phone.

_Nari_

_Hey baby, can I come over? xo_

He groans his eyelids heavy as he sends a quick text back.

_I'm tired after shopping see you tomorrow x_


	2. Chapter 2

Hiding in his oversized sweater and black ripped jeans Yoongi greats his 'not so perfect' girlfriend on the lips before taking her hand in his.

He tries to smile he does but feels no happiness at all no longer feeling the way his skin would tingle when his fingers brushed hers.

"Morning, Yoongs" She leans up pecking his cheek lightly as they begin there walk into college.

"Morning" He murmurs feeling the tension between them. Like an elastic band waiting to snap.

Ignoring the stares they were receiving they carried on walking.

"Didn't you sleep well last night?" Nari asks as they near the end of the hallway. 

Well, he would of if his mother wouldn't have brought home another man after midnight. 

They carried on their conversation until they reached the lockers. Nari leaves giving him a kiss goodbye agreeing to meet later.

His eyes follow her noticing Jimin waiting at the end of the hall.

He refrains rolling his eyes.  _Could they be more obvious?_

Not noticing Tae stopping beside him he jumps when he hears his locker slam shut.

"Why don't you two just break up?" Tae mumbles, shaking his head at the scene in front of him.

Nari laughing at one of Jimin's stupid jokes none of the less.

"She makes me happy" Yoongi sighed getting his chemistry book.

Taehyung knew anyone would if they had a brain cell and put two and two together. One Yoongi wasn't happy and two Nari was cheating.

"You could have fooled me" He scoffed at his best friend.

Taking a deep breath he shuts his locker wishing this conversation to end.

"Since your in a wonderful mood, how did it go last night?"  Yoongi leans his back against the lockers arms crossed.

"We didn't meet," He says a boyish pout playing on his lips.

"Well it could have been worse than receiving a mouthful of momma Yejun" Taehyung chuckles grabbing his books.

"I don't see how that's worse than being stood up but any day you want to swap I'd be happy to put her in her place" Tae grins giving Yoongi a suggestive look.

"In your dreams" He smirks watching as Tae slams his locker shut.

"Now that I would gladly pay to see" Jin announces rushing passed them, Taehyung chuckles as Yoongi nods there way.

"Min Yoongi, please come to my office after registration!" Jin raises an eyebrow and he shrugs walking backwards.

"Anything you care to share?" Taehyung yells down the now empty hallway.

 

"Ah, Yoongi come in to have a seat" His tutor gestured for him to sit smiling walking past her.

"You wanted to see me?" He frowns not all that worried.

Watching as his tutor took a seat behind her old oak wooden desk that had seen better days "Yes um how are you?" 

He knew she was delaying now watching Yoongi glancing around the room.

"I'm okay" He answers as he looks at her bookcase noticing pride and prejudice sticking out of the overfilled shelves.

Bringing his attention back to the present. 

He felt like shit not like he was not willing to admit that to her he crosses his arms leaning back.

"Well that's great" She smiles genuinely.  _She never smiles let alone at him?_

 "There is something that I do want to discuss with you, it would help you ideally especially with earing your final credits" and the pin drops.

She claps her hands together smiling widely.

He groans in his head, great he knew somehow his mother must have had something to do with this.

That's the only reason he would be sitting here right now. She knew he was struggling to get his final credits.

"Which is?" He frowns deepens.

She pauses taking a deep longing breath "It's to do with downtown"

His eyes snap up widening slightly. He knew nothing ever good came from downtown.

He releases a sigh he didn't realise he was holding.

"You know how they're struggling at the moment for the tutors in their area well they have reached out asking us if we have a couple of bright students that are willing"

Looking down at her sheet she holds out for him "It's only four students"

He pushes the paperback "I'm not willing"

He hears her sighing "I'm hoping you will change your mind Yoongi your mother tells me how you have been struggling"

She uses the mother card on him "I'm not" He snaps dam his mother.

"They're willing to pay for the lessons" She finishes hoping that would help the situation.

Noticing his debating she adds.

"All you would be doing is working an hour or two after college, just one on one and you would be receiving your final credits that you need that would look great on your applications"

His head raises up he knew he needed those extra credits he knew they were no denying it. Plus looking at it from another point a few he would get away from his mother for a good couple of hours.

"Nothing good ever comes from downtown" He whispers to himself.

"Yoongi I promise you everything will be fine you won't come across any danger" She promises.

"Fine when do I start?" He asks faking a smile he knew would pay off handing him the piece of paper again.

"You would start tomorrow straight after your final class" She smiles back.

0 Yoongi 1 Tutor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be longer.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just a very short chapter I know it doesn't explain a lot but if you stick around you will. It's just a short introduction to the story.  
> I haven't really done chaptered fics before so I'm new to this actually letting people read my works so I'm nervous and nobody will probably read this and now I'm rambling.  
> Anyway except more chapters soon if anybody reads this... I guess.  
> I hope you enjoyed it.  
> Okay bye.


End file.
